Wife?!

This is a person who is discovered to be The One for most of us men when we are in to our last few years...

Yes, I mean it. Just imagine, the person who has been all through your life next to you, through crests & troughts, who has held your hand - be it a sorrowful moment or a joyful one. When you have issues at work, you shout at her, when you have had a promotion or a hike in the pay, you take her for a wonderful eat-out session at your favourite restaurant, sitting across the table is The One who has been with you, next to you so far, you look at her sparkling eyes. You tell yourself that "My dear Wife, you are the one for me, my friend, guide and love. What would I have done without you in my life?". Never to mention, you have already admitted that your partner is the reason for most of your successes.

When you are angry, she is the one who becomes the listener. When you are devastated, the only shoulder you look for is hers. When you need to share the most romantic moment in your life, she is the one who sits close to you, ready to receive your love. I have seen many-a-times, the home-maker, as we call her, is the one who never bothers about herself but is there always next to you/your kids, taking care of all, every moment.

A person who has dedicated herself, her cute smiles, her dreams small & big, her fantasies like those of Alice who is lost in her own wonderland, all to make things happen in your life. There are many chances that these dreams and fantacies of hers may just get vapourized in to thin air. But she never regrets. She is ready to fill those gaps with those little romantic moments that you spend with her. Can I say that she has sacrificed most of herself for the sake of this relationship? No, its not a sacrifice, its in fact a contribution. A contribution of her time, love, energy, all-in-all herself.

Why does she want to be with you? Maybe love, security, a feeling of being wanted, to give and take, to make a family, to give you those cute little ones whom you have been dreaming about. She believes all the words you say, yes she does. Why does her single touch relieves you? Why does her kiss makes you forget your world? Why does her voice sends those tingles & chillness through your spine? Why do you long to talk to her when you are stressed out? The answer is LOVE. This beautiful emotion, which not only can be experienced but also can be explained in a million ways, is the emotion that every human is longing for.

And believe me you, this emotion is the only reason why you look forward to look at that shining face with sparkling eyes when you get back home after a tiring day. It can bring you relief equal the one we had when we landed in our mother's arms when we were just few hours old. Why is it that you tend to sleep like an infant when you are in the arms of your loved one? It is in this Nature; one hug of hers and you go flying, one kiss and her knees go weak, one word of love, both are in paradise. Delight, fully experienced; bliss encountered like never before.

Dont you think it takes a lot to give? Try giving and experience for yourself. Its easy to receive and that is what you have been doing all this while from your loved one, The One, Your Wife. Take a moment to look deep into her eyes, say those words that she longs to hear from you, repeatedly, be it day or night, it is mutual, the result can be experienced by is hard to explain. Again, language has its barriers.

Affection, an addiction...

This is a feeling that we all seek, rather crave. Right from the time when we started realizing that we have taken birth on this planet and that we would be taken care by many people around us, we have been craving for this feeling of being affected by love and being cared.

Its indeed a positive feeling of being liked, cared and loved. Of course, we all would feel high and on cloud number nine when someone loves us and cares for us and above all expresses these emotions towards us. We humans are social organisms and cannot live alone, if we do, we might be heading to the Guinness book of records!

I have come across people who find it so easy to express their love and affection and have wondered how the hell are they able to bring out their feelings and emotions by their words and physical gestures. I have also found out through my pretty little experiments that it does makes a lot of difference when you express your affection physically. Imagine, your love sitting next to you, expresses a discomfort, what would you do? Imagine this scene is set in one of the restaurants that you have visited for the first time in your neighborhood. Well, you might begin with "Are you alright? Its Ok. Lets go home and you could relax there. I'll prepare your favourite coffee with scrambled eggs" etc etc etc.

But how does your love take this? Well ask him/her. But imagine this - the same scene, you just hold hands, whisper those three words that we all eagerly wait to hear from our loved ones, whisper "I Love You". Assure that you are there and nothing will go wrong and things can be sorted out. Do this with a lot of emotion. I bet there is a huge difference.

Being a trainer, I always have taught my trainess that the words we use carry just 18% result whereas 82% is the emotion that we fill and the body language we use while talking. I have seen them all pumped up with emotion and can see their facial expressions changing and their hands gesturing in unison with what they are talking. A good sight!

Your words and body language make a lot of difference for sure when it comes to handling situations where you and your loved one are involved. Well, I believe there are many situations in life when your looks, hugs, gestures of affection would communicate a lot that are much more powerful than your words. Language has its own limitations. This is for sure. No wonder there are numerous experiments carried out to understand how our minds understand the affection shown through body language. Its an amazing study. I would rather start doing it, start expressing my love through gestures and words filled with love & emotions. There is nothing to lose. Afterall, you are contributing to the relationship that you care about and value for.

What are you waiting for then? Go on and start expressing.

Guru

"En Guru, aaraama?!" (What master, are you fine?! Literal translation from Kannada)

The usual greeting in most parts of Bangalore, oops its become Bengaluru now. It gives you a good feel when someone approaches you with this greeting. Auto drivers, shop keepers, friends, relatives and so on. Guru! Why do they call you Guru? What does this word mean? Upon checking my dictionary which is an important link on my computer's quick launch, I found out that Guru simply means, "A Hindu or a Buddhist religious leader and spiritual teacher". Now, how in the world have we all become Gurus?! Point to be noted and to be pointed!

Guru simply is a term used to address others, greet others etc. in Bengaluru. The city apparently has picked up many people from other states of our country and the current situation is - more outsiders and less Bengaluru people. Now-a-days even the outsiders have started using this word "Guru". So to say, "Kya Guru, Kaisa Hai?!"

Guru of Sex, the usual term used for counselors and Sex Therapists (Mostly in the US). They have gained more importance by addressing them this way. For me, when I hear the word Guru, it takes me back to that day when I watched this movie "The Guru" with Jimi Mistry on the lead role and Heather Graham (ooohhhh) who tries to teach him what Sex is. He learns from her all about sex and how it relieves one from stress and tension. He uses these ideas to make money and becomes a successful Guru in the US. And the story goes on. A movie worth watching.

Guru, according to me is a name given to a person who is capable of preaching what he has learnt. He whose knowledge has got enhanced his life experiences by years of learning, application and discovery. This name fits one who is capable of attracting a large following of people who believe his methodologies and by applying these methods in their own lives, they have discovered a lot of truths that they use in their own day-to-day lives.

The truth differs from person to person, community to community and cult to cult. There is no "The Truth". There is only truth. So, the truth that your Guru shares with you is His discovery. That need not be the same for you. But it could help you discover yours. Never get carried away from His truth and never try to discover the same. It will never happen. Guru is a path which you use to reach a truth, your truth. But He and His truth are not the solutions.

Happy learning.

Stress!!

Now, people who are reading this would surely think, "Stress?! Thats part of my life. Maybe I might go on for the whole day without my regular intake of the premix coffee prepared by my favourite dispenser, but I cannot go home without a head ache".

Thats what it is, it never warns you, doesnt have any limits, it can come to you anytime, anywhere, it just needs you, yes it just needs you. The moment you know that your pace of breathing increases, the nerves on your head and neck starts exploding, beware, you are about to be visited by Stress!!

What the hell is this? A state of mind? A physical discomfort? An emotion? I think its just a state of your mind. You tend to face some situations that you cant. You are continuously put into situations where you need to complete tasks, physical or psychological. When you feel that its not going to happen within the stipulated time period, you are the host for Stress!! "There he comes, Welcome!"

What do we do now?! Honestly, I dont know. I feel that the solution is oneself. Everyone of us has different ways to handle the situation. For me, the moment stress tries to befriend me, I would probably turn on some rock or heavy metal by Megadeth, Metallica, Hinder, Linkin Park, Guns N Roses. This would ease the situation. Of course there are harder methods of sitting idle and keep on thinking of the state in which you are. But I am not game for that. There is this method which has been prescribed by many of our Gurus - Meditation. The other day, Swami Iswarananda Ji was telling me about Meditation. "I have tried it too", I said. The way he has discovered Meditation - Mind Engaged Deeply In Total Awareness Transcending Its Own Nature. Got it people?!

However, I need to admit, once I sit for meditation, as I approach the state of silence, I tend to face more turmoil. Oh my my my! Its just making me think more and more and I'm sucked into the whirlpool! No wonder people tend to walk off from such sessions, midway. Or escape this state by either sleeping or listening to their favourite track which helps them to be away from this turmoil. I think if I move on and allow myself to be pulled into the whirlpool, I might face the reality. And once I face the reality, maybe I would come out more courageous, more healthier, with strength to handle various situations and also to handle stress. So, bring it on! My dear friend Stress, I'm going to show you what reality is.

Let me try this! So, people, wish me luck!!!

Who am I?

"Who am I?"

"Silly Question"
"What?"
"Ask someone else"
"Attend a spiritual workshop"
"Ask your Guru"

Is this how people would react when I ask them about myself?!

Maybe, need to probably scale the lengths of Dubai creek, the usual abode of walkers and joggers who are health conscious. Most of them would raise their eyebrows when I seek an answer for my question, "Hey can u tell me, Who am I?". Ooops, putting myself in their shoes, I feel strange in being approached by someone over there with a similar question.

Dwelling deep within, I found that I am just a victim. Oh, now dont think that I've committed some crime. No, thats not what I did. I have become the victim of all those circumstances surrounding me. I cannot be out of it, but part of it. No one exists all by himself/herself. If you think you can, then you may probably be lying to yourself.

What are you when you are filled with emotions like love, hate, anger, happiness blah blah blah? You are the series of those thoughts that make up the emotion that has possed you at that point of time. You are not angry always, you dont hate people or things or anything 24 hours a day, you are not happy all through your life. So, these emotions visit you like your guests and leave. Why do they visit? They have to, in order to balance your life. Every emotion has something that we need to learn from. If we learn and act, we are placed better in life. If we dont, be prepared to face the ultimate truth which is always bitter. What do you want to do?

You are your emotions. You are your thoughts or feelings that make up these emotions (I think so). My next question...Why the hell do we blame ourselves or others because we got angry, or hated someone? No need right? Then what do we do when we are victims of our emotions and the circumstances that engulf us? What do we do when we are under attack by these uneasy situations? Think and act. Learn. Best is to learn so that we are well prepared for the next attack.

As they say, "Life puts you in situations only after knowing that you can handle them well. A coach pushes his pupil into the pool only when he is 100% confident that his pupil will swim and come out and not drown. Till then he coaches."

When did I learn to handle situations and my emotions then? Why is life giving me situations to handle, emotions to tackle? Hmmmm, need to think. Happy thinking.